You Play the Back. Bitch, I'm in the Front.

I hate facebook. It stirs up so much shit, its insane. I feel like an idiot for getting into it with Jordan, but I was just defending myself since that Cassidee bitch called me out. I don't even know who this chick is, and she calls me a fake bitch. Then of course Jordan sticks her nosy-ass in it and makes things worse. I'm quite aware that I made myself look like an ass, but at least she did the same. I don't care.

I wouldn't have kept going with her, but it was a bad day. Altman decided to play 'big dog' and take my phone. It was in my hand during the LAST thirty seconds of class -- the LAST class of the day. I wasn't even using it or anything. Bitch thinks she has some type of real authority over me. Ha.

Anyways, I had to call my Dad from Caitlin's phone to tell him it got taken; he was mad even before I told him what had happened. Great, right? I knew I was going to catch all the shit for whatever had happened to him that day. My dad's a big, scary, mean guy. To anyone that's ever seen him, you know. So when we got home, I went straight to my room, turned up my music alllll the way, took a big handfull of tylenol and motrin and closed my eyes. Oh, yeah, and argued with dumbassbitch Jordan. When my mom came to get me, she took my phone back from my dad and told him she'd cut it off for the weekend -- and didn't! We talked, and she agreed with me that he was overreacting and being an asshole. I feel sorry for her; being married to him for nine years must've been hell. He really is a douchebag. Now, don't get me wrong, my mom and I have our bad days/weeks, but its nothing compared to when my dad gets mad at me. And that's saying something. There is literally no arguing with him. He just yells over you and repeats the same thing over and over.

"You're dumb. You're worthless. You're a whore. You're just like your mother. Don't twist my words! You're dumb. You're worthless..."

How long before I start to believe him? I think I already do, sometimes. It doesn't matter, though. I can go and be a dumb and worthless whore in Charleston or Texas. Probably Texas. Less humidity, more Mexicans. ;b And to be as far away as possible from him, from here. Its a miracle he hasn't hit me yet. I see his hands ball up into fists and just know its about to happen..

When I got to my mom's, I immediately fell asleep. I slept all night, and even overslept and was late for work. And I never sleep. I just kind of lay there, thinking.

So, since Altman wants to put her bluff in and, in turn, make my life hell at home, I hope she's ready for some hell in class.

"Nice bra. Hope it'll fit a tough titty, bitch. Life's hard. I swear to God life is a dumb, blonde, white broad."

I'm a Moon that Never Shows It's Face.

If I could purr right now, I would.

;D

Don't think I'm pulling through.

I feel like I'm going to be sick.

I think I've reached my limit.

I can't push myself much farther. Or further. Or whatever.

I'm tired. So. tired.

And they tell me that this is passion..

And I'm raiding your life like this empty liquor cabinet.

I really, really don't trust you. I'm afraid to. I know your reputation, but I also know its not fair to judge someone and their actions completely on their past. But still.. it does count for something. Its human nature to follow the pattern that we've previously established for ourselves, and we tend not to stray from it.

I feel like House; "everybody lies".

The other day in math, somehow the whole class got on the subject of cigarettes. Altman went on and on about how she sees kids light up before they even get out of the parking lot. "I know some of y'all in here smoke." No shit. We're students at LE; its a given that about 80% of us smoke.. And then everyone was like, "Ew, cigarettes are gross! But weed's great; I get high every weekend, bruh!"
All I could think was "hypocrites, hypocrites, hypocrites". Pot is just as bad as cigarettes. Both of them fuck up your body, you can get addicted to both, and a lot of people think you're stupid for smoking either of them. Personally, I don't care. We're all in high school and we get exposed to all sorts of things and we want to try every one of them that's "bad"; its that whole forbidden fruit thing. I'm not gonna lie, I like to drink sometimes -- and I've had cigarettes when I'm stressed out in the past. But I've never smoked pot. I'm not necessarily against it, I just haven't. What I am against, however, is doing it all the time. We're young, yes, but we also have to live in this one body we have until we die. Just pace yourself.

Pick your poison.

Jar of Hearts

So, in honor of Valentine's day (which is, in my opinion, one of the stupidest holidays -- you should treat your better half that way every day, unless they piss you off), I've decided to post the lyrics to Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri. Read it and weep, ;b

 

 

I know I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

And learn to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are
Dear, it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?

 

 

Anyways, I got my interim today and almost had a heart attack when I saw a 65 under my AP Euro class. -_-

I'm convinced Hind messed our grades up on purpose to fuck with out heads. He would. But, I'm actually making an 88, which is like 127 for me. Nothing much else has happened today, except for I just ate 2 Special-K meal replacement bars.. They have a lotta' protein and fiber in them. I'm scared..

 

I remember my Valentine's Day last year. Even though I didn't get to spend it with Gabe, it was really sweet. He left a bunch of roses at my door, along with a can of Monster, which I practically main-lined back then. It was cute, I'll give him that.

 

<3

 

 

You know the world's gone mad, when blacks wear plaid and Mariah has married Nick Cannon.

8:50am

Lauricella pisses me the fuck off. I mean, shit, woman! Shut up!


10:24am

So, thanks to Caitlin, I'm having the biggest urge to go shopping...earring shopping. (:
Lots and lots of big, dangly earrings.

I'm hungry. All. the. time. But right now, in particular.

Grant is texting me right now; apologizing for being a dick in December. I'm glad. I've missed talking with him. But, then again, I miss talking to a lot of people..

I want to leave this place. I don't want to be here anymore, in this town, with these people.

I want to go somewhere beautiful.

I Wanna Be Weightless, Because That Would Be Enough

What the fuck? Really?

http://thestir.cafemom.com/food_party/115400/stay_wellhydrated_with_a_tall

Anyway, Mallory's over here making her Bucket List. Trey's helping her..dear lord.

I need to make my Bucket List..it's gonna be bad. ;b

All I know is, I want a tattoo -- or tattoos -- and some more piercings. 



You Talk Like You're Famous; You're Shameless.

Tom (Jersey) , Darren (Iowa) , & Chris (SC)

I miss you, </3

 

 

 

~~~~

 

"It is to the credit of human nature, that, except where its selfishness is brought into play, it loves more readily than it hates. "

-Nathaniel Hawthorne

Thou hast fornicated!

Gah, I love English class.
'I like tuttles.' <3

Anyways, Sierra was trying to find my blog the other day, and we found this girl with my name. I loved her last post, so I'm gonna copy it on here.

---

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:


Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them?
- Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,
Jim

---

I thought it was cute, ;p

A Friend in Need is a Friend, Indeed.

A friend with weed is better, ;b

Stop being so dramatic. You're starting to get on my nerves. You can't play the pity card, or the victim card. Just because people are finally reacting to your hatefulness in a way that you deserve, doesn't mean that you can bitch about it. Oh, and by the way, people will remember this a month from now. You can't throw someone's deepest secret onto a page for all of the world to see and expect it to just go away. You're a horrible person. You're a great actor, and a great musician. But a horrible person.

Liar.

Music makes you lose control.

One of the things I've always loved is how everyone reacts to music, what it does for them. Some of the deepest, most passionate emotions to be experienced in this world come from music, in my opinion.


When you're driving down the road, with your music blaring, knowing everyone can hear what you're playing and hoping they know what's going on in your life at the moment. When you're laying in bed in the middle of the night, headphones in and all the way turned up, fighting to go to sleep but there's just too much shit going on that you can't slip into unconciousness. Or, the best, when you're standing beside a gigantic speaker and you can feel the vibrations throughout all of you. I would imagine that its not good for the body, but it does wonders for the soul.

---

On a completely different note, I've never understood one thing. How the hell do so many people manage to lose their shoes on the side of the road? I mean, is it really that hard to keep your feet inside a moving vehicle? Anybody who has ever lost a shoe out of a moving vehicle needs to revert back to riding in a carseat.

Damn.